i forgot all about my blog here....
perhaps i should pick it up again?
in my dreams we walk
hand in hand
body and soul
there is no more you
there is no more me
all that's left is the seamless rapture
where you and i used to be
i'm just now getting around to going through the photos i took while visiting with my brother Jake and his family.
this one of Jake entertaining his daughter, Audrey, and my Jonas is a favorite of mine
or regurgitated food for thought. stop me if you've heard this before
i spent the evening surfing the channels in search for some evidence of intelligent entertainment. i finally stopped at the travel channel because of all the pretty pictures ;P i watched a series of shows on various natural wonders of the earth..each one leaving me in awe. layers upon layers of beauty. not just different types of nature, but nature within nature within species upon species of beauty. humans in opposite ends of the earth surviving extremely different environments in identical ways. the earth constantly turning and changing..being born and dying at the same time. the earth melting...the earth burning. 4000 different types of fish in a river and yet, only one type of human living on its shores. with the exception of variations in skin, eyes, hair, etc...we are all the same.
then came a commercial for the bible on DVD's!! that's right...a bible for old folks. a bible for the young. jesus for you...jesus for me. jesus for everyone, god damnit! ( i bet they would have hated the excerpt on the Galapagos Islands and Darwin.)
i thought to myself, of all the variation that exists on the planet, how stupid we are as humans to think that there is only one acceptable belief of the origin of creation, or as some insist, a "Creator". the fact is that genesis only happened once, and though there may be thousands of stories as to how it happened, it does not matter the details. the only one truth necessary to believe is that it did.
cut to a commercial for the one of kind you gotta have it, 911 commemorative coin with cool, flip-up replicas of the twin towers! how nice. because i need something to remember the ultimate example of a clash of ideologies. the biggest gang war going on ever. my god is better than your god...and i can prove it. we clamor to see who can dig their graves the fastest in order to make our useless argument.
as we fight to prove a point that needs no debate, we slowly oppose creation with destruction, as if in some ridiculous joke. the punchline is in the Sahara, covering what was once our human paradise.
the earth, in all her wonder and spectacle, will remain when our arguments have ceased.
always quiet...always changing.
never questioning or debating herself
today was not a good day for me. there are really no definite things to relate, only that i felt full of darkness and was overcome with sadness. i'm still not sure where it came from or what triggered it...not that it matters much anyway.
tonight has been much better though. i pulled out one of my sketch books with an idea that came to me in the shower (i find that my muse must live in water or in the space right before you fall to sleep). i have a few books on drawing the human form that i've perused a few times and discovered a painting in one that i fell in love with. i had never heard of Tamara de Lempicka, but she is definitely one of my new favorites. i love her style...very luxurious and expressive.
this is the painting that i fell in love with...
i so envy those that have the talent to draw nudes...i'm practicing and hoping to come up with my own style. for now i'm just sketching down the ideas that come to me so they won't be lost to my overburdened brain.
i'm hoping tomorrow doesn't go the way today did. i'm feeling happier now mostly because of my new "discovery". it reminds me of how much is out there visually and philosophically that i am ignorant to. it gives me something to look forward to in the times when i feel like i have nothing else for fuel...
i guess that's the purpose (or one of them) of art and thought. thank gods for the beautiful mind
you know it's ungodly hot when you're outside at 11:30 pm and you come in pouring sweat.
at least there is a big storm going through right now. storms always make me a bit excited, unfortunately my husband is at work. :( maybe it'll cool things off a bit at least. poor Todd...storms mean lots of false alarms going off so he'll be running around like crazy for a while tonight.
got a lot done today...registered Hannah for school, finished painting the dressers, canned some homemade pickles, took a nice little nap with the husband..and all the regular day to day stuff. i'm itching to do some on my unfinished art pieces or maybe start another one, which makes me happy. i've been feeling too preoccupied lately to want to create much. that makes me unhappy to feel that way.
today brought some good news we've been waiting for concerning Todd's GI money...after a year of waiting for lots of bureaucratic red tape. all's well that ends well i guess.
still waiting for the job that a friend has clued me in on to open up..should be any day now. i'm hoping with the "inside connection" of knowing someone that works there will aid in my getting hired. i'm becoming reluctant to even discuss it anymore as it becomes so repetitive and frustrating.
heading up to Louisville on Sunday to visit with family. my brother and his wife and kids are coming in from Norfolk. i haven't seen them in a long while so i'm very much looking forward to the time with them. it'll be a full house for my parent's, but it should be fun. his youngest is about a year older than Jonas and they've never met. i plan to take lots of pictures of the family's littlest members getting to know one another. it will be a first in many ways...
life keeps on going...and the circle keeps on spinning.
i've been stuck in the house these days. we've been painting, etc...getting the kids rooms in some decent shape. i could kick myself for not taking some before and after shots of at least one of the rooms. the walls were covered in two layers of the most god awful, hideous wallpaper and the rest of it was covered with some poor excuse for patching plaster walls. somehow, and with a lot of help from the in-laws, we managed to get the room looking normal. all three of the older kids' rooms look very nice. i just need to do some last bits and pieces like curtains and arranging and i'll be satisfied.
i have some second-hand furniture that we got really cheap for one of the boy's rooms. tomorrow is going to be sanding and painting of said furniture and that will be out of the way. i also have to drive to Louisville and back to pick up Hannah from her trip/visit with her buddy. yuck....6 hrs on the road. it would be nice if the other mom would meet me half way, but she always has some excuse as to why she can't make the trip. oh well.
the more we do around this house, the more i really don't want to leave it. it has such character and warmth, and there are many things i would miss greatly if we moved. i doubt we would be able to find a house like this in the same price range in a larger city. there are just so many things i don't like about the town....i don't know. maybe if i find the elusive job and the elusive group of friends, it would make this place seem more homey. maybe.
i find myself sitting in my living room, gazing at what has been done and daydreaming about what else i could do and i imagine entertaining some special people here. i want to share this place with you both. i want you to see what i see everyday. i want to share the warmth of my world with you, and hopefully fill you with a bit of it to have when you're far away.
is it odd that i can miss someone so much with whom i've never met?
perhaps....
but i do
geebus crikes, there must be something in the air tonight. i'm listening to the scanner (Todd has gone to third shift now), and there is shit going down left and right.
first a wedding party got into a massive riot with weapons involved...then a car show with a drunken crowd...now i'm listening to a stabbing victim/fight going on. all of this in our quiet little town...
(sigh) i think these people just need to go to bed.
sounds like a plan
well so far i'm feeling kind of stuck as far as this new Vox thing goes. i'm spoiled by LJ in the fact that i can search for similar minded people much easier there. the only tool i have found here is the explore button which leaves me feeling like im searching for a needle in a haystack.
i'll be paitent.....
on t.v. dinner